Crystal Madrilejos

Intentions

Allergies are the bane of my existence today. That’s all about that. New week, new mantra. And this one has already been a doozy. My mantra ties in closely with my commitment to do one thing from my Ideal Day for 40 days. And that is a plan in itself. Wake up early and discuss plans and intentions for the day with my partner and other half in life, Andrew. I emailed Kathleen this morning about how Andrew and I had a couple…. cathartic, is the best word to describe them (tears may have been involved on my part, yikes)… conversations last night and this morning around planning and expectations. Basically, there is a bit of conflict in our approaches to how we get things done. And when your lives are so intertwined, having two different planning styles will require compromise, which in turn can leave the person who is more introverted (in this case, Andrew) feeling encroached upon and the person who is more extroverted (myself) feeling lost and out of the loop. What we discovered and agreed upon after our discussions is that in our planning process, Andrew needs to be more verbally communicative about the steps that he usually internalizes in order to help give me direction, and I need to be more action oriented so our planning discussion feel productive to Andrew rather than just another chore. So how does this all relate to my intentions for today? I intend to try and sort through my discussion with Andrew and lead with my head and not my emotions, similar to how I’ve been trying to approach roadblocks at my job. This might sound counter-intuitive when dealing with a loved one, but I need to work on seeing Andrew’s feedback as constructive rather than critical because in the end, him and I are working towards the same exact goals and dreams, we just interpret the journey in different ways.

This all came about after Andrew read my about my “Ideal Dream Day” (another thing I will discuss more in a later post) and I was somewhat disappointed by his response. Which was that he felt “daunted.” He did say he was hesitant to use that word since it wasn’t a totally accurate word for what he was feeling. It was like that moment in Funny Farm when Chevy Chase asks his wife to read his manuscript and afterward she starts crying because it was that bad. This is also not a completely accurate comparison. Andrew didn’t think my interpretation of an “Ideal Dream Day” was bad. But instead of seeing it as an end-goal, he saw it as the cumulative effort of all the things it would take to get there.

My old COO at my job used to sometimes refer to brand positioning as “sausage making” – people like to eat the sausage, but they don’t like to see how it’s made. (Which this analogy might doesn’t apply to everyone since some people don’t east sausage at all, but you get the idea) This is sort of an apt analogy for me personally when it comes to dreaming. Sometimes, I just want to dream and not let all the reality that lies between me and that vision stop me from just… dreaming.

Reflections

Okay, it’s super late so this might be total ramblings. I fell asleep earlier reading to Quil and then got up around 11:30 and am still awake. Today was hard in general but mainly due to the whole allergies thing. If my head is unclear on a normal day, with allergies I’m basically a zombie. But anyway. I did pretty well with my intentions today. There was good communication between Andrew and I. I was able to be decisive and more action oriented. There was one part of the day, where I felt like I was able to flex my proverbial wings in terms of focusing on steps rather than getting immediately overwhelmed. Andrew had dinner planned, had all the things he needed, but our plans got interrupted because he had to go help my parents move some things because my Dad had hurt his back. So, rather than be derailed by the fact that things didn’t go according to plan, we were able to change course smoothly. I took over and made dinner, something I might normally have felt too overwhelmed to attempt by myself with both kids (another aspect of my psyche that I’ll have to delve into another time). Now this might seem like a super minor, unimportant, non-issue for most people. And it’s not a huge issue for us. It’s not like we would normally fight about this and we averted one this time. Not at all. What it showed was that we can be agile in our approach to how we manage tasks without me feeling overwhelmed – simply by communicating and adjusting my perspective of the situation. Now, ask me how I feel when hormones are raging and the kids are screaming, and it might be a different story. But for today, we were good. Small victories!

Past Posts:
Mantra: Reflections on Week 1
Introduction to Creative/Life Coaching

{Photo taken in 2012 of the path to our side door that we never use, that I insisted that Andrew and I re-lay ourselves when I was 9 months pregnant with Ellis.}

xo,
c.

One of the exercises that I do in my creative coaching sessions is to come up with a mantra that I repeat to myself as much as I can throughout the week. Everyday, I spend some time in the morning building intentions around that mantra and then reflect on it at the end of the day.

My mantra for my first week was: “I Know the Answer is Here.” This was based on the fact that the reason that I embarked on this creative coaching journey was because I knew I had the answers to the problems I was facing, I just needed someone to help me organize and give me tools to help me clear my head and find them.

There isn’t any formula around how I write about my intentions or reflections. At first, I found it somewhat difficult. I definitely had a few moments of, what the hell does an Intention around “I know the answer is here.” really even mean?! But sometimes, you just have to go with it. I just started writing and it came to me. Sometimes they come in the form of concrete actions other times, just a general approach to my day, or sometimes just pure rambling of almost utter nonsense. But it feels good nonetheless, to just get my thoughts out there.

A gem from this past week was my intention for the last day of the mantra “I Know the Answer is Here” and I felt a little surge of excitement coupled with a big helping of humble pie, when I wrote it – and, yes, I’m going to quote myself:

“I intend to be decisive and focused. I intend to not be overwhelmed by how things initially appear and to not feel as I’ve wasted my time or others but to see that everything is a learning process. I intend to view situations and experiences as a way of growing rather than as a reflection of my shortcoming. I intend to do what I haven’t the past few days and address issues that I’ve put off in fear. I intend to continue feeding my sense of lightness when approaching roadblocks and seeing contrary solutions to my own as ways of learning and listening. Sometimes realizing that I don’t have all the answers, is an answer in itself. I do have the answers in the sense that it is within my capacity to find the answer, but I don’t have to be the one that supplies them all them time.”

This particular intention was very centered around work, but I find that there is a lot of overlap in my approach to work and life. Which makes sense because I’m a creative in my day job, and I can’t separate that creative aspect from my personal life. But not only that, a lot of my creative coaching sessions are not only directing me in how I approach my work at my day job, but how that job itself fits into the life I’m building for the future. It’s all connected.

From here on out, I plan on sharing any Intentions and Reflections in this space. I’m sure you probably don’t care about my intentions to clean the bathroom sink, so I’ll try and spare you some of those mundane details!

{Photo I took of Q + E in our garden, taken this summer}

xo,
c.

Photograph  by Hiroshi Sugimoto, Tyrrenian Sea, Amalfi 1990

Lately I’ve been floating. Figuratively, not literally. I felt afloat in a sea of familiar things that I sort of watched go by. They would come and go on the currents and occasionally lap against the hull. I felt like I was waiting around for a breeze to come to move me forward toward my destination. It wasn’t terrible, it wasn’t great. The most I felt was restless. Restless to get going, but also somewhat resigned to my fate. It’s like, well, I’m here and I don’t see a rescue ship in site. Not that I even really felt like I needed rescuing.

Then I realized that I had some oars all along, so I start to paddle.

Ok, so I know this is sort of a cheesy analogy. And probably not entirely accurate. And will most likely get more cheesy as we continue, but I’m just going to go with it.

Earlier this month, as a form of professional development, I started a six-week course of Creative Coaching sessions with Kathleen from Braid Creative. I’m going to consider this my realizing-I-have-oars moment, in the analogy above. I wasn’t as helpless as I thought. There were resources available if I was willing to put the work into it.

So let me just tell you, if making the decision to work with Kathleen were the oars, the Creative Coaching sessions themselves have been the winds in my sails. (I told you it was going to get cheesier.)

Ok, enough with the analogies. For the past two weeks, I’ve been giving a good hard look inwards and it’s been insightful. So much so, that I’ve been wanting to share the ride I’ve been on. I wish I’d had the foresight when I first started my sessions to start sharing the things I was learning and uncovering because now I feel like I want to go back and start from the beginning.

And I plan to (which goes along with my mantra for the week – but more on that later) I’m just not sure what form that will take or how I should even begin to structure it. But I will find a way that makes sense.

Last night, I was attempting some light yoga (because my wrist has been bother me, ugh, side note) and the instructor said something that really resonated with me. She said something along the lines of “There are still so many things you can do, even if there are some things you can’t.” It sounds sort of like a ridiculous statement to make. Like, duh, of course. And even though she was talking about yoga poses, in that moment, it struck something. I have a tendency to focus on the things that I can’t do, things that just aren’t possible within the current situation I find myself in – be it financial, physical, mental, whatever – rather than focusing on the things that I can do now. It’s a really slight change of perspective, like looking through one eye, then the other. Just a subtle shift in movement that can completely change what you see.

I find it somewhat refreshing to be taking stock of the things that I have going on in my brain. Becoming a parent forces you to look less at yourself and more outward because your focus is on these little lives that you are now responsible for, and also fascinated and captivated by. I realize that creative/life coaching isn’t for everyone. I’m sure there are people who don’t see the point, that anything you could possible uncover, you could have uncovered on your own. Which may be true. But I’m not too proud to admit when I need help. I’m not above seeing value in other people’s experience and advice. Personally, I believe there is great value in just finding someone you’re on the same wavelength with.

So, I hope to start sharing my journey through my Creative Coaching session, and maybe they’ll motivate and inspire you to take a look inward and maybe shift perspectives once in awhile too.
——
Kathleen Shannon is co-owner of Oklahoma City based Braid Creative. She is a storyteller, designer, adventurer, and creative coach that helps other creatives find their voice.

xo,
c.

A little while back I read, “Manage Your Day-To-Day: Build Your Routine, Find Your Focus & Sharpen Your Creative Mind” put out by 99U and have been trying to implement some of the things I learned. Here are few thoughts and ideas that have resonated with me and the ways I’ve tried to adjust:

1. Routines helps us make time to be creative by “setting expectations about availability, aligning our workflow with our energy levels, and getting our minds into a regular rhythm of creating.”

Now that the kids are getting a little bit older and a little more set into their own routines, it’s getting a tiny bit easier to squeeze in my own projects. It’s pretty much guaranteed that they will be asleep by 9:30pm (except last week when we were all a bit under the weather), but I’m still trying to figure out my own routine after they are in bed. The main issue being that by that point my energy levels and brain power are almost non-existent. On good nights, the most I can usually manage is yoga, which I consider a success!

In regards to my energy levels, I’ve realized that blogging at night just doesn’t work for me the majority of the time. Or doing anything that requires brain power for that matter. It takes me twice as long to formulate sentences at that point in the night than if I would just wake up early to do it, which I’m working on trying to do more often.

2. Frequency makes starting easier, keeps ideas fresh and keeps the pressure off.

This is right on the nose. I don’t know how many times I’ve had ideas that withered because I waited too long to get them down. Also, after a long break in writing, I do find it harder to come up with the right words to communicate my thoughts the way I want. This is why I have a million notebooks. I’ve also started getting my ideas into digital form as soon as I can (I’ve been using Evernote) But I still need to try and set a regular time aside to just DO.

3. “Conditions to produce one’s craft are rarely ideal, and waiting for everything to be perfect is almost always an exercise in procrastination.”

They should have just tacked on “especially when you have kids.” Conditions are never ideal when your family and kids are the sole focus of your free time. So, I try to take advantage of any bit of solo time I have. Driving to and from work is good for thinking through problems – though not very good for documenting those thoughts. (Unless you use voice memos!) A lot of projects get made during the late hours of the evening (if they don’t require too much problem solving) or early morning or squeezed in during naps on the weekends. Usually with me just standing at the kitchen counter or sitting with all my stuff sprawled across the dining room table. Gone are the days of the designated craft area and table with all my supplies readily available within reach of a curious and naughty 3-year-old!

4. Perfectionism hinders productivity.

This one was a big one for me. It also relates to the tip mentioned above. Waiting for the “perfect conditions” or avoiding projects for fear of not doing it “perfect” – this is me to a tee. Sometimes you just need to put things out there and worry less about it being “perfect” and take pride in the fact that it got done. I’ve learned to let go and just go with the flow when it comes to a lot of things but I still struggle with this daily.

All the essays in this book have great suggestions and tips – though some of them are just hard truths that most people know but don’t want to admit to themselves. For example, the fact that social media is a time suck and distraction (you don’t say?) when you are trying to create.

So, here’s to new routines and finding balance.

For more inspiration on managing your time and creativity, check out these links:

&Kathleen is co-founder of Braid Creative and specializes in coaching for creatives
http://andkathleen.com/category/creative-coaching/

Elizabeth Saunders is a entrepreneur and self-proclaimed “Time Coach”
http://www.reallifee.com

Leo Babauta is a creator and writer who focuses on “finding simplicity in the chaos of our lives
http://zenhabits.net

How do you manage your day-to-day and find the balance between work, family and side-projects?

xo,
c.

If any of you are on Instagram, I’m sure you’ve come across at least one person posting yoga pictures. If you aren’t into yoga, you might find these annoying just like when someone posts too many photos of their kids. Another thing I may or may not be guilty of!

For the month of October I’ll be partaking in the YogaFlightFest challenge on Instagram, so if you’re looking for some motivation and want to join me click here for details.

There are a million yoga challenges on Instagram every month and a few months ago a co-worker decided to do one and I figured, why not? I’ve followed a few yogis on Instagram, most of them I found through following BexLife, and had already been inspired to practice more, why not join in a challenge while I was at it? I had already been doing some yoga on my own at home through my subscription to yogaglo.com, so I wasn’t jumping in blindly. I’ve practiced yoga off and on for a few years, but never anything consistent and unfortunately haven’t gone to many classes due to my schedule. But I found that doing a yoga challenge helped me be more consistent in my practice, even if I wasn’t able to do all the poses yet.

The photo above and the ones below are photos from the first challenge I did called YoGratitude back in August

Let me make one thing clear, I’m no yoga expert. I wouldn’t even consider myself intermediate. I enjoy doing yoga and I know my limitations. I know there are some yogis out there of the mind that yoga challenges on social media are not safe or healthy because it does not necessarily encourage regular practice. You see all these super advanced yogis doing amazing feats of strength and flexibility and if you try these things without knowing what you are doing, without being properly warmed up and without knowing how to listen to your body, you could end up injured.

I definitely see that as a valid standpoint, and I completely agree with the notion that people shouldn’t jump into a yoga challenge as an ego boost. However, I do think that yoga challenges can be a source of motivation and inspiration. I don’t like the notion that I’ve seen people bring up, that people who do yoga challenges are somehow doing a disservice to the practice itself as if yoga is only to be practiced by people who are “serious.” To me, if someone is inspired to get up and move and is motivated to do it because of an Instagram challenge, then more power to them. I also don’t think there is ever any harm in spreading the goodness of yoga to the masses and possibly changing anyone’s preconceived notions of what yoga might or might not be.

With that said, I will post occasional updates here on my progress throughout the challenge. And also, if any of those photos I posted seem deceiving, well they are. Because this is really what doing yoga around our house looks like:

xo,
c.

I’ve been seeing a lot of these types of social gatherings it seems, in the past year or so, popping up all over. Maybe it’s something that’s been around for awhile and only came onto my radar recently, or maybe for someone who went to art school and lived amongst a lot of creatives, these social gatherings were just called “hanging out” and didn’t realize this was somewhat of a novelty for the general masses.

Friends and some family members had started going to drink-and-draws, where you usually go to a drinking establishment and do life drawings. With the exception of the drinking (since I don’t drink alcohol) it sounded right up my alley! Luckily, for my sister’s birthday this past July, one of her friends set up a little surprise get together at a place called Uncork the Artist, where for a fee, you go (and drink) and paint a (rough) reproduction of a famous piece of art at the instruction of what I assume is a local fine art major, or something.

I really had very little expectation of what the atmosphere would be like. But I surprisingly had a fun time. I say surprisingly, because the place was packed with ALL women getting drunk and flirting with a young, male instructor. It was slightly hilarious and I think our table was probably the quietest and most intent on actually painting! The painting itself was fun and very relaxed. We did our own renditions of Vincent Van Gogh’s Starry Night and you could pretty much just do whatever the hell you wanted.

I came away with a painting that Quil really enjoyed and it now is in his and Ellis’ bedroom. Plus, I got to surprise my sister, which was the best part!

xo,
c.

I posted this photo of a dish Andrew made on Instagram (come follow me!) a little while back and had some requests for the recipe. Granted, I wasn’t the one who prepared it, just the one who ate it, so I’m sort of just playing messenger here. Hopefully, one day he’ll get around to posting on here again.

Anyway! Andrew is the cook/chef/baker in our household. I know my way around a kitchen, and I do enjoy cooking. But since he is the main care-giver/stay-at-home-parent, it usually falls on him to prepare meals.

On to the recipe! You can find the original recipe on the site Cooking Quinoa and it’s pretty simple. It calls for:

• 1 ½ cups frozen edamame, cooked according to package directions
• 2 cups red cabbage, shredded
• 2 cups cooked quinoa
• 1 red pepper, seeded and diced small
• 3/4 cup diced pineapple
• ¼ cup raisins
• 2 teaspoons almonds, chopped
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 2 tablespoons olive oil OR 2 tablespoons water + ¾ teaspoon chia seeds
• 1 teaspoon coconut palm sugar
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 3 cloves garlic, minced

A couple things to note: Andrew used about half that amount of red cabbage, olive oil rather than the chia seed, and regular organic sugar instead of the coconut palm sugar.

Enjoy!
c.

I’m exhausted right now, so I’m going to try to keep this brief. Nike Training Camp kicked my butt tonight and my legs are like jello (as is my brain, so bear with me!)

[Instagram photo I took of things that inspire me]

With the zombie apocalypse forever on the horizon, my sister, Maria, and I have already decided on our rendezvous point if such a thing should ever occur. Obviously, we say this all in good fun. But it actually got me thinking about things… 

At night, laying in bed, I’ve been thinking: What if some sort of catastrophic event were to happen near us? What would we grab before we made our mad dash to our “rendezvous point? I’ve thought about this multiple nights in a row, always considering things like, “maybe we should grab all our shoes, because those things will wear out quick when you’re constantly on the move.” or “I should probably grab my supply of frozen breast milk just in case something were to happen to me, Andrew would be able to feed Ellis.” Finally, one night I turned to Andrew and asked him what he thought. And his answer was simply: “the kids.” Which then got me thinking more…

So with this new year upon us, and everyone high on the prospects of new beginnings and resolutions for the year to come, I’ve decided to jump on this ol’ bandwagon and make a couple of my own.

My first “resolution” is based on Andrew’s simple, honest, and sensible answer to my nonsensical question. This is the year that I really start taking a hard look at the things that matter and only accumulate/consume/surround myself with things that are useful and inspirational. I hesitate to use the term “minimal” because it doesn’t really fit me, rather I’m going to lean towards the term “meaningful.” I’m tired of thinking about things and stuff and where it goes. Or where it will go in the future. I give up on meaningless stuff!

Which leads me to my next resolution: To be more present and, ultimately, more patient. With myself, with Andrew, with the kids, with the pace of our lives, and with all those things I see on the horizon but can’t quite make out clearly. I don’t know how many times I’ve said to Andrew in the past, “I feel like we’re always waiting. When do we get to start our lives?” – to which Andrew always replies, “We already have!” And he’s right. So this year, I resolve to stop waiting.

Oh and to blog more :)

Awhile back, when I decided to expand this blog to encompass more than just the projects that Andrew and I make, parenting and family was one of the topics I definitely wanted to include. Even though we intended to, we haven’t really had too many parenting & family discussions on here. The main reason I’ve hesitated is that in the few years that I’ve been a parent, I’ve realized (like many parents) there is a very fine line between honest discussion and unwanted advice when it comes to parenting.